Teenage Times: Abusive vs. Healthy Relationships

Teenage Relationships: Abusive vs. Healthy 

By: Kenya Paloma

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'"
-Erich Fromm

     Abusive relationships are rarely seen in teenagers, but 1 in 11 high school students report being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused by their partner. An example would be if Katie met this guy, who was smart, attractive, athletic, funny, and sweet, called Alex. She was head over heels for him, and he was too. When he finally asked to become official he suddenly changed. Alex demands to know where she is at all hours, he won’t let her hung out with her friends or talk to her guy friends, and he doesn't let her wear her normal clothes or makeup. When Katie has enough of him she tries to leave, but he threatens her with hurting her or himself!

    A healthy relationship is made out of seven components:

• Mutual Respect - respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is.
• Trust - it's OK to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters.
• Honesty - it’s tough to trust someone who can’t be honest.
• Support - in a healthy relationship, your partner should be there to support you in the good and bad times.
• Good Communication - it’s important to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided.

     You probably have that friend that has that perfect movie relationship, but we have to face the fact that there are abusive relationships out there. Maybe you or a friend are in one right now, and in that case the right thing to do is to get help. Talk to a parent, counselor, a close friend or call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1.866.331.9474. You can also visit LoveIsRespect.org for help and advice.